You see, what it is is, I have no moor. I have no one to tell the truth to, because I have no one who cares that they're getting the truth, or who is invested in me enough to think about how to deal with that truth. I have no one to worry to effectively, because I have no one who knows me enough, or cares enough about me, to want to help me find a solution just because they want to help me. I have people who hear me, and people who perhaps sympathise even, but I don't have anyone who listens. That requires a commitment beyond friendship, or at least it does for me.
In this way that male therapist was right. It's not that I haven't put down roots, or that I don't have roots; it's that I've done all that rooting myself: no one is ever in it together with me - any it. And perhaps that's why I miss the VTTT so much: because when I had him, there was one area in my life where someone else was putting themselves out to find the solution, was invested, and even was in charge.
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