The Value of the Paternal

It occurred to me tonight while I was dancing (reasonably well, actually) with the FTT that everyone ought to be issued with a spare dad.  That is, not the father that one has, but a sort of fantasy father, one who is totally on your side, always supportive, and always there if you need someone.  Your real father could never fulfill this role, because part of being a good real father is that you challenge your child, or at least teach them that they are not always right - in a way, to be a good real father you must seem to be at least slightly not on your child's side (although this is in fact a way of being on their side, as it equips them with skills and wisdom that will help them get through life).

Your spare dad would be the way Dr. McGann is to me about my career: no matter what I tell him about how things are going, or what I send him to read, he responds by saying, "You're wonderful.  You're going to be a huge success."  Your spare dad would be the way my friend L's father was when she told him the story of me and Mr. Fallen:  he immediately said, "He's a jerk."  When you were sad, your spare dad would always open his arms in just the right way, and give you just the right sort of cuddle.  He would always be understanding, and his understanding would have no time limit.  If you needed career encouragement, your spare dad would give it; if you needed someone to express righteous anger on your behalf, your spare dad would do it.  And if you didn't need him you could just fold him away until, like an emergency dinghy, he popped up instantly whole and working the next time you needed him.

Until such dads are issued, I will be grateful for the existence of tall male friends, because they allow you to hide your face when you dance.